I guess you can never really say never because at some point in your life, something will happen or someone will come to your life and change your decisions forever.
July 2014 – I submitted my resignation letter to my previous company as we (me and my husband) decided that I will be a Stay-at-home-wife (SAHW) and this time, it will for a longer time or maybe a permanent one.
Ever since high school I had such high hopes and ambitions for my career. I see myself as that woman who is known for her power suit, high heels, signature handbag and the moment I walk into the room, I mean business. I will have my own office, an assistant and will sign documents and contracts during my free time. Ambitious as it may sound but that was how I saw myself years ago. There was even a point in my life when I told my mom that I will not get married because I wanted to have an established career. I want to soar high and do it with flying colours. I dropped the dating game or so I thought. On the same year when I decided not to believe in marriage, I met the man who changed the course of my life.
Whenever I watch Jessica Pearson, I’m reminded of who I wanted to be when I was young.
Partially, I can say that I achieved the things that I wanted. At a young age, I held a good position in my previous company and had the chance to experience the things that I used to dream of. Though it was a small company in the BPO industry, it gave me the opportunity to hold a management position where got to I travel abroad and met a lot of people.
So many sleepless nights, extended office hours, solving client issues 24/7, non-stop meetings (breakfast, brunch, lunch, afternoon/tea breaks, dinner, late night – you name it, I had it.) and client calls on weekends and holidays – this was the kind of life that I had before and I was totally okay with it. In fact, I was so happy feeling fulfilled that failed to notice how I was losing the time for myself and my own life. Working 6-7 days and staying in the office for a minimum of 12 hours is my normal work schedule. I was working hard those years..working hard but not smart.
My career life was very fulfilling at that point, but things changed when we became a couple. My perspective in life had a sudden turn. Did he ask me to stop working after we got married? Of course not. He is a reasonable and understanding man and he knows how much I value my career. In fact, he supports me in every decision I make. In 2009, I decided to quit my the management job because of some work-related issues and also, I wanted some time off to rest and refocus my career. That time, I’ve decided to have a regular 8-5 job with weekends and holidays off. I’ve decided to enter the gates of “family life”.
To be honest, I liked being at home but I also missed being on-the-go and being busy. For several years, I had on and off corporate jobs and the last was the company where I recently resigned.
Was it a great risk?
Yes, for several reasons:
- First, I am not getting younger and should I decide to go back and pursue a very promising career I should be running double time now and restarting my career will be very challenging.
- Second, I am in a foreign country and looking for another job will not be easy.
What was/were the reason/s for the change of heart?
I got more than one answer for that:
I choose family.
I tried balancing work and family, but my energy is just not enough to handle household responsibilities. Though me and my husband share the tasks, weekends are not enough to do the cleaning, laundry, ironing, grocery shopping and a whole lot more. It is either we do it and be restless over the weekend or not do anything and live in a dirty house for another week. It is always a sort of a make-or-break deal. And no, we do not have a helper with us.
Now that I am SAHW, our house is my new office 🙂 I take care of everything at home and I get to take care of my husband well. From his clothes to his food. He is a very happy man and always excited to go home because he knows that a home-cooked meal is waiting for him, except for Fridays – it’s our kind of date night and we would just eat somewhere 🙂 Also, we get to spend more bonding time together more than ever.
Away from stressful environments.
I decided to let go of the stressors that I have control of. I don’t want to subscribe to any office politics and other people’s personal issues included. I tried dealing with these professionally, but some are just… argh! You get what I mean? Instead of stressing myself and become unhealthy and negative, I scrammed my way out. One thing about me is that, even if the pay is not that high, but if I love the people I work with – that alone can make me stay longer than expected. But the moment I sense that the people are intolerable, leaving will be an easy decision – because it’s not just about money.
I own my time
I enjoy a lot of me-time because I handle my schedule. Now, I am more relaxed and I get to read more books, watch more series, and I even have an active blog. 🙂
Are you happy with your decision?
Now, I can honestly say that I am. I enjoy what I do and I don’t miss the corporate life so far. I guess my perspective has changed as well as my priorities in life. Financially speaking, of course if I am working, we will have a bigger income but my husband is earning enough to support us and provide the things we need and I cannot ask for anything more. Though the finance is a great factor, but not everything is about the money.
I guess you can never really say never because at some point in your life, something will happen or someone will come to your life and change your decisions forever. I believe that turning my back from my dream career was one of the biggest decisions that I made in my life but I am happier than ever. Whoever says that being a housewife is an easy job should be slapped – haha! just kidding! but on a serious note, think before you judge. Being a working wife/mom and being a housewife or a stay-at-home wife are both difficult in their own respective ways and everyone should respect that.
Love can be mischievous. And it always makes someone, who doesn’t believe in love feel much stronger.
– My Love from the Star