Ah, February… The Love Month! The time of the year when people are extra sweet to their romantic partners. The time when men agree to lavishly spend on gorgeous bouquets and beautifully wrapped boxes of chocolates. Hearts, reds, and more hearts wherever you go. Don’t you just love it, ladies? 🙂 Yes, I also love the most romantic month of the year. But there was also a time in my life when Valentine’s Day did not turn out to be as sweet as I expected it to be.
Photo courtesy of Tumblr
What I will share with you today is part of my colorful past. Do not worry, I have my license to talk about my previous relationships. I am thankful for having such an open-minded husband! 😉 So prepare to be entertained, but I hope that you learn something, too. 😀
I was dating this guy for some time and things were going quite well between us. Despite the difference in our schedule, we still managed to make things as normal as possible. I work on regular office hours while his job starts at 10 pm as he was working as a sales agent in a call center that time. I used to stay until wee hours because we would text or call while he was at work. That was also the only time that we can really talk to each other. My day would be his time to sleep and energize so I don’t expect messages from the guy. Besides, it has been that way ever since we started seeing each other.
We rarely go out, and if we do, it’s strictly on Saturday evenings until wee hours of the next day. Again, I was okay with the set up because my schedule was crazy and I do not have time to go out on work-week. I was enjoying things that way, at least I do not have to move my schedules around just to accommodate a guy. What a relief! that was how I saw it that time. As long as we communicate every day and I hear his voice every night, I was fine.
Slowly, I stopped entertaining other guys because I was thinking of going exclusive. Our chemistry was incredible and our personality was a perfect match. He is an attractive human being with a great sense of humor and a voice that can melt any woman’s heart when he sings. Did I mention he was a model? Oh yeah, that. When we started dating, I was actually questioning myself and I also discussed it with him, but his response made me like him more. He told me that there is something between us that was just indescribable and he really enjoys our time together and how we can talk about anything under the sun, no holds barred. He was the guy who always know what to say, anytime and anywhere. He was charming in his own ways.
Evening of February 13, 2007
A day before Valentine’s Day, out of nowhere, he messaged me and asked if I can go out and see him while he was on break. His lunch break was like 12:30 am. His reason? He wants to have an early Valentine’s dinner with me because he feels guilty that we cannot go out as a normal dating couple on that day ‘coz he had to work. Nice moves, right? So there I was, the completely-smitten woman, went out with him and we spent the first hour of Feb 14th, together. On my way home, I thought, “Wow! This guy is really something” and I was wearing the megawatt smile until the next day.
Valentine’s Day, 2007
With what just happened, I felt that I needed to do a sweet move because hey, the guy made an effort to see me last night. I just had to do something to show that he is special to me. After my work, I got a small cake/dessert from the nearest coffee shop in the area and getting ready to brave the heavy traffic that night because my plan was to surprise him in his office. You know, just to say hi and greet him on that special day, just like the cheesy scenes that we normally see in the movies.
My coworkers were also excited for me because first of all, they know the guy (I introduced him when he picked me up from work at one time), and second, they know our story. I just finished writing a sweet note that I placed on top of the dessert box when my mobile rang. It was him and I excitedly answered. With my flirty tone and a smile on my face, I picked up my phone and answered, “Hey you.” And to my surprise, it was not him on the other line. It was a very angry woman, shouting on the other end, asking who am I. She was asking questions repeatedly, asking what was my relationship with this guy. She was trying to validate some information from me. I was so stunned with what was happening and I just found myself pressing the “End call” button.
My heart was beating fast as if I was running a marathon and I can feel that my valves were working double time while I was in a state of shock. I am not that dumb and, of course, I had a clue of the woman who just called. But my brain was having so many things going on and my emotion was mixed and raging at the same time. I cannot think clearly! All I know was that I wanted to scram out; get some fresh air.
Not having enough time to think further, another call came in. It was the same number. It’s her again. That very moment, I felt my face was as red as a fully-ripe Washington apple. I was looking at my phone’s screen, but I chose to answer it. What was I thinking, right?
I just want to know what’s really going on – that was my thought that moment.
As the woman yells on the other line, I moved to the conference room so no one can hear the issue that I am handling. I tried hard to compose myself and took a deep breath then I started talking. I asked who was on the other line, how did she got my number and why am I having that conversation with her. As the answers came in one by one, things became clearer and the clues that I had earlier are now facts.
The mad woman was apparently his GIRLFRIEND. Yes. He has a girlfriend while we are dating. She said that she found our exchange of messages. I remember sending a simple thank you message, with a smiley, after the short dinner the night before that. Nothing fancy or flirty, really. Now she wanted to know who the heck am I really in his life, but I answered that with another question.
“What did he tell you?” I asked.
I wanted to know whether he told her the truth or he lied to get away from a fight.
“That you were her former student in a training center! Is that true?!“, she questions me.
In my mind, I want to slap his face, left and right with a thick book. Twice. But I decided to go along with his lies.
“Yes, I was a former student” I answered calmly.
Then she started shouting again, saying “If you are telling the truth, tell me the name of your training center! Tell me!!!“
Of course, I do not know the name of the training center! But as I was thinking what to say next, she then again, uncalmly threw another question.
“If you were really his student, why do you have to exchange messages in the middle of the night?! ANSWER ME!“
From the background, I can tell that he was trying to grab the phone from her, but she was so mad that she shouted at him saying, “Don’t you dare! This is not the first time you did this to me!“
Thinking fast, I got the perfect answer, it will be my ticket to get out of this unnerving phone call. I avoided answering her questions directly, but I told her this in my most zen state,
“Okay, I don’t know what is going between the two of you but the text that you mentioned, that was nothing. I just said thank you and I apologize if it caused you trouble. I don’t want to be involved with your mess and if you have nothing else to say, please leave me alone and I’m in the middle of an important meeting.“
End of call**
My whole body was shaking and I was still holding my phone as tight as ever. I was perspiring and I wanted to slam the conference table in front of me. As my senses dawned on me, I realized these:
No wonder I am not receiving messages whenever his at home, after he woke up or even on Sundays. We only talk to each other whenever he is at work and his last message will be before leaving his workplace and he is on his way home. How stupid of me! Those were clearly red flags that I just ignored.
I was still contemplating and then I received a text message from him, saying ” I am so sorry that happened.“
I was like, are you kidding me? Just like that? Just sorry? NO explanation or whatever?
Sorry for what? Sorry that you got busted, you two-timing @&%$@! Wow, really unbelievable!
I replied to him and said,
“You should be!“
After sending the text, I used the office line to call his number and he answered, but before he can say anything, I shouted,
“WE ARE SO OVER!” and slammed the phone.
Well, at least my turn to shout made me feel a little better. That night, I felt I needed to clear my head so I went out for some drinks with friends. On that same night, I decided to face this guy and set things straight for the last time. After seeing my friends, I met him in a coffee shop nearby and we had a short but straightforward discussion. I asked for the truth and found out that they have been living together for 2 years (if I remember it correctly).
“You cannot have the best of both worlds.”
Again, WOW! This time, I want to slap myself. Facepalm with the combination of left and right slap. The discussion was over when I knew that he will not leave the girlfriend, but he also wants me to stay. What a selfish bastard, right? Our less than an hour meet-up ended when I told him these classic lines, but they sincerely came from the bottom of my shattered heart:
“I really thought you and I… I thought we were something.
I was actually preparing myself for the next level but with what just happened, Wow. Just wow.
I cannot do the other woman gig. That’s not my thing. That’s not me. I don’t enjoy sharing my man. I am selfish that way and I understand how you’re girlfriend feels because I am also a woman.
You cannot have the best of both worlds. But since you refuse to choose, I will be the one to leave.
I cannot do this. It’s just too much. Let’s just end it here. Right now.“
After that, I went home and ended my sad Valentine’s night with a cry-fest.
MORAL LESSON of my story:
Do not get tired of love. Believe in love. Love and be loved.
And if you ever find yourself in a messy situation like what I had, try to be the sensible party and do the right thing. Choosing what is right may sometimes hurt us, but just think of the long term effect of your decisions. I may have cried buckets of tears for more than half a year but at least, I can walk with my head high because I know that I did not wreck somebody’s relationship.
Lastly, do not get tired of love. Believe in love. Love and be loved. We get hurt because we love and care. Just like what they always say, once you get hurt, learn from what happened, stand up, dust yourself off and move on. Learn and love. 🙂
Thank you for reading my story. What about you? Do you have any Valentine horror stories to tell? Share it with me 🙂