For the past couple of months, I have been busy with the blogging gig and I am really having a great time sharing my heart’s content with the world – that side of the world where no one knows me personally.
Berryduchess is unknown to my personal circle. I chose to keep it under the radar because I have this fear of being judged in many possible ways – from the grammar to my lifestyle.
I used to be open and living my life just the way I like it. I thought everyone can potentially be my pal and my friends are extended families. I used to think that people will be happy for you when something good happens in your life because that’s what I do. But there were events in the past that proved them wrong. I guess Dennis Wholey was right after all this time.
“Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting a bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian.” - Dennis Wholey
There were many times that I felt was judged just because of the brands of my choice or that time when I decided to be the stay-at-home wife. My husband would always tell me not to care because either way, people will always have something to say. I acknowledge his point, but things still made me feel insecure in some ways.
Blogging discreetly was like a rehabilitation activity for me. I get to write and post things that I really like. With this pseudonym, I can be myself and not be afraid of disapproval from people I know. Maybe seeking approval is just part of human nature, unfortunately, I am affected by it.
I asked for help in my previous posts and a number of people would participate and the rest were curious about the write-up. Some were interested to read the final articles/posts and I agreed to share it after.
Though I was scared, I remained true to my words and provided the link. While I did not hear anything from others after reading, the rest of them loved my works. I felt so relieved and appreciated 😀 Few of them even mentioned that it was written like the articles in magazines and my heart skipped a beat! Another comment was that they like my blog overall and they were happy for me. 🙂 * 2 points for the confidence boost!
Am I good at what I do?
So can I say that I’m good at what I do? I want to believe that I am getting there. Truth is, I am thankful to have followers and the number is increasing 🙂 I am also thankful that people are liking and commenting in my posts because whether you admit it or not, these things increases our confidence as a blogger. It helps us push for more and come up with better things to discuss because we know that someone is actually reading our work. 😀
Am I proud of what I do? Yes, I am proud of what I have accomplished so far, but maybe not proud enough, I guess? If there is something that I want to be better at, that will be on the “giving a damn” department. I hope not to be too affected by the unpleasant things I hear or learn from the people I know. Like what I always say in the past, one can always ignore a praise or criticism from a stranger, but once it comes from your family or friends, it will have a greater impact on you.
I am still trying to gather that confidence until the day comes that I can openly share my work in my personal social media. As I move forward, I want to further improve my writing skills and hope to come up with better ways of presenting my thoughts. Lastly, I want to truly believe in myself that I can be better with this. I am giving myself a pat on the back and acknowledge the fact that there will always be room for improvements. I aim to live free from self-doubt. 😀
What about you? Do you have fears as a blogger or you are very confident in what you do? 😀
The greatest prison people live in, is the fear of what other people think. - Anonymous